As women on a college campus, a high school classroom, or an office we are constantly interacting with individuals our age. We know that with these interactions there is a strong desire to seek friendship with these individuals. What we might not know is just how important is the knowledge behind understanding a healthy friendship is.
This knowledge of friendship is accredited to Aristotle. There are three types of friendships that Aristotle discovered. Each of them important to understand. These friendships are based upon the way individuals receive affection and what affection is bonding the two.
The three types of friendships are utility, pleasure, and common good.
A friendship based on utility is a friendship where the source of affection is gained through a benefit that each friend provides the other.
A pleasure friendship is a friendship where the primary source of affection is gained through having fun as you're drawn to the pleasant qualities of the other person.
It has been noted that the two types of friendship, utility, and pleasure, are fragile. This meaning that these friendships are not the women who will be standing next to you on your wedding day. These friendships are not the women that will be the godmother to your children. These friends are friends for the time being. I say these things with no intent to hurt, but instead an intent to bring peace. Do not fret over friendships that are struggling, do not fret over friendships where the drama starts. Find peace with the people who truly want goodness for you.
The third type of friendship Aristotle discovered is a friendship built on the foundation of goodness. A friendship that aims to guide a friend towards goodness, while truly wanting this for them. In his book, “Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love” Edward Sri wrote friendship is considered virtuous when "two friends are united not in self-interest but in the pursuit of a common goal: the good life, the moral life that is found in virtue." Be in pursuit of wanting goodness for you friends. Inspire them to do the same for you. Surround yourself with these people.
As women, we are constantly seeking three things: to be desired, to be appreciated, and to be loved. As college women, we are seeking these things through the people we come across. Make sure to remember that these people who we seek these three things from, should be people of goodness.
A few tips on how you can maintain wellness within your friendships:
1. Always strive to be the friend that says "yes!" when you receive an invitation to hang out. Don't wait for something better to come along, because you are far better of a person to treat anybody as a backup. This is your first step in creating a friendship founded on a common good.
2. Show you appreciation. By thanking our friends of thinking of us, we show them we value their attention. Also, pay attention to what actions you've done that they have appreciated.
3. Learn how you best give love and receive love. Take this time to learn your love language and familiarize yourself with all five love languages. Your result will let your friends know how you best feel loved. Your knowledge of these languages will allow you to better love your friends.
While all of these tips are beneficial, Saint Theresa of Calcutta gives us the best advice of all:
1. Always strive to be the friend that says "yes!" when you receive an invitation to hang out. Don't wait for something better to come along, because you are far better of a person to treat anybody as a backup. This is your first step in creating a friendship founded on a common good.
2. Show you appreciation. By thanking our friends of thinking of us, we show them we value their attention. Also, pay attention to what actions you've done that they have appreciated.
3. Learn how you best give love and receive love. Take this time to learn your love language and familiarize yourself with all five love languages. Your result will let your friends know how you best feel loved. Your knowledge of these languages will allow you to better love your friends.
While all of these tips are beneficial, Saint Theresa of Calcutta gives us the best advice of all:
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