A Girls Guide to: Eucational Wellness

One of the most powerful tools we hold as an individual is being knowledgeable. We have the ability to immerse ourselves into any aspect of life and learn from the experience. How do we do this? How do we take advantage of all the educational opportunities we have in life?

When you are in school, you shouldn't just be a student, you should be a proactive student. Take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. If an opportunity isn't apparent, make one. Professors are paid to give you the answers. Your advisors are paid to get you on the right track. Clubs on campus are there to improve your resume and provide you opportunities. Internships are available to step into the professional world. Take advantage of all of things you come across. Despite any anxiety or fear of rejection, reach out to teachers, professors, or professionals. Put yourself out there and you begin the process of learning. It all begins with a simple email.

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For most people this advice is applicable in the world of education that is seen in the classroom. Dr. Curry gives us some more advice how we can succeed in a classroom setting, here.

But does the world of learning only exist in a room where computers and chalkboards are? Absolutely not. We have so much to learn as individuals and I challenge you to do so. Learn how to cook, bake, or the art of fine cuisine. Turning twenty one? Learn fine liquors and what a wine connoisseurs job is. Interested in crafting? Learn wood burning, knitting, or painting. Good at computers? Use youtube tutorials to teach yourself graphic design. Learn a new language!  The opportunities are endless. All of these not only improve your resume, but they improve your attitude. You are now capable and knowledgeable, two of the most powerful tools humans possess.

While all of this might sound time consuming. There is such an emphasis on time-management. I am a firm believer in the busier the better. If you know that you only have an hour to complete and assignment, you either are going to do it now or not do it at all. This leaves the room for procrastination if you are not busy. This video gives us some great solutions for time management:

If you're struggling with managing all of your obligations currently, just show up. Being present is THE most important part to learning.

A Girls Guide to: Physical Wellness

As a girl in college finding the time for maintaining our physical wellness is difficult. I in fact have failed at this more often than not. Everyone wants to be the girl who get up at 8:00, goes for a run, and makes a smoothie. Instead, I am the girl that wakes up for class 30 minutes before it starts. Rush to brush my teeth, my hair, and grab my computer. I go to my classes for the day and can’t find the energy to make it to the gym. I then end up in the bed watching Netflix for the remainder of the day. It became a lifestyle that I was not happy leading.

With "Freshman 15" in everyone’s mind, we have to take care of our bodies. Exercising to loose weight quickly became the last reason I was prioritizing exercise. Exercising became about improving my overall mental health and mood, which is so important to girls our age. This emphasis is so underrated, but I am here to change that! I had been so frustrated with the stress of classes and upset over friends coming in an out of my life. I needed an outlet, and that outlet quickly became the relief that came from taking care of my body.  

How do we break the college cycle? The not having any time to work out?

RN Central provides college students with a good number of tips:

1. Learn the proper portion size:  keep track of how much you're eating

2. Change up your meals: don't stick to the same meal everyday, change your meals and better your nutrition.

3. Eat Breakfast: make sure to start the day off on the right foot.

4. Keep healthy snacks around: Especially if you’re in classes all day, plan and then pack!

5. Drink Moderately: Quick Tip, no one really knows what’s in that solo cup!

6. Don’t fight stress by eating: instead try a quick trip to the gym!

7. Drink Water: instead of alcohol! Always remember to bring water to class

8. Ride your bike to class: instead of driving!

9. Play a sport: get involved and get active

10. Take advantage of your colleges fitness classes/courses: can’t stress this enough. If yoga is a class, take it!

11. Take advantage of your colleges gym: it’s a free membership and you’re already on campus

12. Find a friend

13. Take a nap: reboosting your energy just might help you make it to the gym

14. Don’t study in bed: working in bed makes it harder to sleep. Separate your work space from the sleep space.

15. Stick to a schedule!

There are plenty of videos online that help motivate you as a student to get to the gym. Heres an example: 

If Buzzfeed wrote an article on why we should stay healthy -  were legally obligated to do it as college students. 

Get active, take advantage of anything that could release endorphins, make the time for it! You can do it! 

A Girls Guide to: Friendship Wellness

As women on a college campus, a high school classroom, or an office we are constantly interacting with individuals our age. We know that with these interactions there is a strong desire to seek friendship with these individuals. What we might not know is just how important is the knowledge behind understanding a healthy friendship is. 

This knowledge of friendship is accredited to Aristotle. There are three types of friendships  that Aristotle discovered. Each of them important to understand. These friendships are based upon the way individuals receive affection and what affection is bonding the two.

The three types of friendships are utility, pleasure, and common good. 

 A friendship based on utility is a friendship where the source of affection is gained through a benefit that each friend provides the other.

A pleasure friendship is a friendship where the primary source of affection is gained through having fun as you're drawn to the pleasant qualities of the other person. 

It has been noted that the two types of friendship, utility, and pleasure, are fragile. This meaning that these friendships are not the women who will be standing next to you on your wedding day. These friendships are not the women that will be the godmother to your children. These friends are friends for the time being. I say these things with no intent to hurt, but instead an intent to bring peace. Do not fret over friendships that are struggling, do not fret over friendships where the drama starts. Find peace with the people who truly want goodness for you. 

The third type of friendship Aristotle discovered is a friendship built on the foundation of goodness. A friendship that aims to guide a friend towards goodness, while truly wanting this for them. In his book,  “Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love” Edward Sri wrote  friendship is considered virtuous when "two friends are united not in self-interest but in the pursuit of a common goal: the good life, the moral life that is found in virtue." Be in pursuit of wanting goodness for you friends. Inspire them to do the same for you. Surround yourself with these people. 

As women, we are constantly seeking three things: to be desired, to be appreciated, and to be loved. As college women, we are seeking these things through the people we come across. Make sure to remember that these people who we seek these three things from, should be people of goodness. 

A few tips on how you can maintain wellness within your friendships: 

1. Always strive to be the friend that says "yes!" when you receive an invitation to hang out. Don't wait for something better to come along, because you are far better of a person to treat anybody as a backup. This is your first step in creating a friendship founded on a common good. 

2. Show you appreciation. By thanking our friends of thinking of us, we show them we value their attention. Also, pay attention to what actions you've done that they have appreciated. 

3. Learn how you best give love and receive love. Take this time to learn your love language and familiarize yourself with all five love languages. Your result will let your friends know how you best feel loved. Your knowledge of these languages will allow you to better love your friends. 

While all of these tips are beneficial, Saint Theresa of Calcutta gives us the best advice of all:

A Girls Guide to: Emotional Wellness

It’s a very common understanding that if you break your arm, you put it into a sling. If we scrape our knee, we put a Band-Aid on it. What do we do when we have an emotional wound? That’s the problem, there isn’t an immediate “fix.” Why are we a society that only stresses the importance of staying physically healthy, but not mentally?

In my first session, Dr. Lianna Bennett stressed this idea, that we physically take care of our bodies – not our minds. She also stressed the importance of her work as well as the work we were about to begin. Dr. Bennett is a licensed clinical psychologist in the Northern Virginia Area “who works with clients to heal past traumas, reduce the experiences of depression and anxiety and improve the quality of relationships in their lives.”

Every single person has some type of emotional wound. Every single person has been hurt, traumatized, upset, disappointed, lonely, depressed, stressed, or anxious.  This meaning every single person can benefit from taking care of their emotions, by giving them the time and attention they need.

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Dr.Bennett gave me an analogy. Looking at the room we’re in she stated, “It’s a gym. We aren’t going to start discussing the most traumatic memories and experiences first, that’s like lifting a 50-pound weight on day one at the gym.” Bennett and I began at the beginning of my life, where my lifting weight was one pound. We began at a simple time in my life so that the years began to heal some wounds, and then I could tie up the loose ends by lifting those one pound weights. As time went on, I began to hit middle school lifting heavier and heavier weights. Progressing to high school and college, I was lifting weights heavier than myself.  It’s a process, a process that received too little credit.

Counseling has been my “sling” or my “Band-Aid” and my wounds have healed. There is such a stigma on “emotionally unhealthy.” I didn’t think I was emotionally un-healthy because I wasn’t depressed, I wasn’t super anxious, I wasn’t questioning my life. I was naive. I needed counseling and it has improved my overall wellness of life. While I understand that not everyone can have a relationship with a counselor, but I urge you to consider this option if possible. If not, here are a few quick tips from Psychology Today to get started on your emotional wellness today:

1.     Pay Attention to Emotional Pain – If it hasn’t gone away in a week, take action. This is where an emotional wound is formed. If you’re rejected, hurt, or have been consistently in a bad mood, we are forming an emotional wound that WILL impact the rest of your life if healing this wound isn’t put as a priority.

2.     Stop Emotional Bleeding – Wounds formed can cause cycles that will make the emotional pain worse. Failure à Lack of Confidence à Failing again in the future. Take note of these if you see yourself doing this. It is so important to understand the emotions behind our actions.

3.     Protect Your Self-Esteem – Think about it this way – “Our self esteem acts as an emotional immune system which can buffer us and lend us greater emotional resilience.” Make sure to take note of your self- esteem, boost it when its low and avoid a negative “pity party” regarding any aspect of your life.

4.     Battle Negative Thinking – This one is pretty obvious - avoid ruminating!

5.     Become Informed – There is so much more to learn, other than the content blog post.

Bonus Tip: We come across triggers in our daily lives. These triggers tell our mind to replicate the same pain we felt when a wound was formed. Confused? Think about holding onto a grudge, it's essentially the same thing, except with our emotions. Triggers can be simple or they can be complicated. Triggers can simulate upset, anger, hurt, or even embarrassment. I guarantee you that you will benefit from taking the time to learn what your emotional "triggers" are. 

Ladies, take care of yourselves! Share this information with your sisters, your mothers, your friends, your aunts, and most importantly, share this with your daughters. Your emotional health is just as much as a priority as your physical health.

Take the time to watch this Ted Talk on emotions if you enjoyed this post. You will not regret it!